02/10/25 dream: I had a dream that me and my old friend John were doing urbex through abandoned locations like silos and military bases. All went well for a while, and I remember us going through many surreal structures, somehow not getting caught once. Things changed though when he brought along two more of his friends, one was a lanky dude named “Stephen” with expert lock picking skills and nerd glasses, and the other was a big ass jock holding a gun and wearing a football jersey named “Julius”. I remember that I clung to Julius like glue, trying to flirt with him, but he was always too dumb to pick up on my hints. He did protect me a lot though, which still helped, as I remember we were heading to a new urbex job within an abandoned store in a strip mall, the store specifically was apparently closed since WWII, but it looked way too impeccable and legend said they were still customers roaming the halls at night. That was enough to hook all of us, and John told us all where to meet. We quickly ended up making our way to the place, it was a restaurant named “La Taqueria de la Santos Familia,” but me and the gang were unofficially calling it “Santos’” the whole time , or simply “the taco store.” Anyway, I remember we managed to evade the dumb officers talking near the H&R Block outside the store and playing cards, allowing us to send Stephen near the front door to pick the lock near the nest of pests, whilst Julius started fighting off rats from approaching his flank with his trusty autographed baseball bat. Before long, I saw Stephen pop up open the door lock, shaking off the rats from his skirt as he stood bolt upright. I thought it was odd that he was wearing a skirt, but I didn’t question it too much, as I instead waited near the foyer for someone to enter first into the dark place. Nobody would enter though, as they were all clearly shaky, as things started to get awkward between us. This standoff continued for a while, the air thick with fear, until suddenly Julius walked up to me and grabbed me by the collar, telling me “well, you know what they say, sweetheart… ladies first!” As he threw me into the darkness beyond the foyer of the building. I was in intense fear at the darkness and began to shriek as I felt a spider on my skirt as well, unable to see it in the black of the building’s darkness to swat it off. I remember I was scared like this for a bit , lying there winded and hearing the group argue. I heard John say “whaat the fuck, she’s too weak in there, are you crazy?! You could’ve gotten her killed with that throw.” In a frantic and concerned voice. Stephen then sighed, replying “Hey, listen, I have a family that depends on me and my whole life ahead of me. I ain’t letting any ghosts get to my med school career,” with a callous and detached tone to his voice. Julius too then piped up, saying “Oh relax… she’s not gonna die. She’s a tough cookie. Just look at how she handled getting high with us last week,” in his typical burly manner of speech. John then sighed, saying, “I guess you’re right, guys… I just felt it was a bit mean to Ashe at first, you know, being her sensitivities and all.” “Noted,” Stephen replied to John callously, as he pried open the other door and walked in to find me in the hallway. Stephen then poked my shoulder, which for some reason roused me from my near-unconsciousness and made me shoot bolt upright with a scared breath. Strangely, the restaurant was now lit without a cobweb or sign of age in sight. In fact, the restaurant looked way more modern than WWII, especially the TV and jukebox systems, although the mechanisms of lighting were very much still dated. Stephen stood still there, poking me on the shoulder as he reached his hand out to pull me off the ground. Then, hearing something odd about Stephen’s voice, i looked back towards him, only to see that he had a completely feminine figure and a fully female outfit of a low-cut band shirt along with his aforementioned skirt, as his rack looked to be about a 36C size. I was still kinda dazed from the impact, so I just grabbed his hand as normal, sarcastically remaking “wow, Steven… guess we’re gonna have to start calling ya ‘Stephanie’, now, aren’t we?” To which Stephen cocked an eyebrow, speaking to me in a confused voice “What do you mean, ‘Stephen’? My name has been Cecilia this entire time, you dolt.” She said as she jabbed me in the breast with her lockpicking tool, as she walked away to close the door behind us. I just stood there stunned and clutching my breast in pain, staring at Julius for conformation, but he only said to me in a concerned tone “Wow… Ashley must’ve hit the ground harder than we thought. Cecil’s always been with our group.” As John said to him “Yeah, maybe she needs her ‘estrogen’ and ‘progesterone’ so she doesn’t become a ‘lunatic’ tonight, eh?” To which Cecil started cackling furiously as she said “Careful, it’s a full moon, Ashley might get horny for us or irrational!” And walked over to close the curtains around the windows too, being careful not to alert the cops as she did so. The next part of the dream I growled at Cecilia angrily and rolled my eyes, before I then started zoning out for a bit as I went through the ancient place, looking through the decorations and such, until I then saw a table loaded with sodas, tostadas, chips and salsa, chicken quesadillas, and many other foods. The food looked fresh, still steaming even, so I sat down to start eating. I began stuffing my face with the chips and queso, until John came over and exclaimed “ASHLEY, NO! THAT FOOD’S-“ but he quickly interrupted himself once he smelled the warm food and went to go over to try it for himself. We sat there eating for a while, in between talking about superheroes and how much we hated old teachers, until suddenly, Cecil and Julius came over to join us. Things were weird this time though, as Julius was being referred to as “Julia” now, and instead of looking like a jock, they looked like a butch lesbian. I remember thinking “why does this Mexican restaurant keep gender swapping them?” But I held my tongue and was just like “hey, what’s going on, Julius?” To which he or rather she replied “it’s Julia, twerp.” As she gave me a tsundere glance and wink, quickly pulling up a chair and sitting down next to me, before long beginning to stuff her face with the refreshments as well. I forget how long we were like this, but we just sat there ravenously eating and drinking all the stuff the restaurant had. It was like we were stuck on heroin in the corner, rather than just Mexican food. I then remember the ghost of the owner and many more ghost workers coming to serve us, as well as to ask us how we were doing and such, to which we responded in between bites. This happened for a while, until then my dream descended into madness. The next part was a blur, with the only event I remember being that somehow a cop had come into the restaurant to rescue me from it, and then he had dragged me into the back of his car while I was still delirious. He then drove me all the way back home and dropped me off again, to which I then decided to check discord. I checked discord to see that John’s username was now something like “Jane Kamenetsky” instead of his original name. I noted that it was weird even he swapped gender too, but at this point I was too delirious to walk in my house, so I just flopped on the sidewalk. I then started to lose consciousness and quickly blacked out under the full moon. Fin. I awoke in an odd mood, still partially bound from an earlier bdsm session yesterday with the cuffs and collar still intact, and my rope harness kinda losing tension, but otherwise feeling cute and mostly satisfied. Took me a while to write this dream though as I awoke utterly exhausted and unfocused, with a bit of dysphoria, as well as being nicotine deprived.
This dream you described is rich in symbolism and narratives, reflecting your subconscious thoughts and feelings about your friendships, identity, and the complexities of life experiences. Let’s break it down.
Urban Exploration (Urbex) and Abandonment: The dream begins with you and your friend John exploring abandoned places. Exploring abandoned sites often represents a journey into the unknown or the exploration of forgotten parts of your life, memories, or emotions. The dilapidated buildings can symbolize aspects of yourself or your past that you feel are neglected or overlooked. The thrill of urban exploration suggests a desire for adventure and excitement in real life, as well as a fear of consequences or getting caught, reflecting your anxieties about stepping outside societal norms or expectations.
Characters as Reflections of Yourself and Your Life:
The Restaurant and Food Symbolism: The abandoned restaurant, La Taqueria de la Santos Familia, represents nourishment—not just physical but emotional. It could signify a longing for comfort, friendship, and shared experiences. The fact that the food appears fresh despite the age of the place can indicate hope or renewal, suggesting that nutritious relationships (friendly or romantic) are available to you despite any struggles you may be facing. Eating together with your friends can symbolize the sharing of experiences and connection.
Darkness and Fear: The urge to throw you into the dark space represents vulnerability. Your fear of the unknown is palpable when you feel disoriented and uncertain due to being in the dark. This fear connects back to earlier parts of the dream, highlighting the anxieties you might have about stepping into new experiences or confronting aspects of yourself.
Gender Role Reversal: The constant gender swapping among your companions can reflect your own exploration of identity—how societal roles and gender can be fluid and interchangeable. This could point to feelings of dysphoria or a struggle with how you fit into societal norms regarding gender and identity.
Interactions and Conflicts: The argument about your safety suggests a protective instinct among friends, highlighting themes of care and concern in relationships. However, it also illustrates an uncomfortable aspect—feeling judged for your perceived fragility or sensitivity. This duality is important and might reflect your own struggles between strength and vulnerability in your waking life.
The Cop and Return Home: The appearance of the cop who rescues you while you are in a delirious state may indicate feelings of needing help or feeling saved from a chaotic situation. The transition back home signifies a return to your personal reality, and the exhaustion and desire to check Discord suggests a need to reconnect with your community and reaffirm your identity within it.
Final Reflection: Waking up partially bound and feeling dysphoria signifies a collision between desires and reality—how your life experiences shape your self-perception. The dream encapsulates a complex interplay of adventure, fear, identity exploration, and the importance of community and friendship. Reflecting on these themes may provide insights into your current emotional state and guiding you towards understanding your relationships and self-image better.